Us

What’s happen in my head
Not happen in reality.

Don’t dream too high if you don’t want to hurt so bad.

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Same

Insane
Day to day
Weeks, months
And years passed
It’s never change
That butterflies
Whenever I think about you
Still the same
The same way
You seem to never notice
Me

I love you, as always.
Jogja, 11.11.17 11.46 pm

I don’t believe in love

and all those poets said

but I still read it anyway

it’s easier to holding on to something unreal

but I do believe in reality

all those stories they told

that could be a lie

I’ve been lied to

now I can’t trust anyone, even myself

I know that’s terribly wrong

but I just being me

Pathetic.

Realize that I’m one of them

We live for things like arts, music, fictions, poems

When all we need is something we can hold on to


Jogja, penghujung Oktober


Rumi

Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi – Any Soul That Drank The Nectar

Any soul that drank the nectar of your passion was lifted.
From that water of life he is in a state of elation.
Death came, smelled me, and sensed your fragrance instead.
From then on, death lost all hope of me. https://goo.gl/WnesiG

Jika

Jika dan hanya jika

Kuturuti nafsu pencarian

Mampukah bertahan dibawah dinding lapuk iman?

Akankah kutemukan Tuhan?

Terbit tanya jauh

hati menolak

Aku hanya serangga yang mengikuti cahaya dengan buta

Tuhan, aku harus apa?
Jogja,102017

Gusti

Aku ilang
Aku kesasar
Aku rareti
Opo sek bakal tak adhepi
Aku
Aku..
Aku…
Ora ngerti..
Aku pengen nangis
Aku pengen guyu
Aku kesel banget
Opo sek tak lakoni iki pener?
Aku egois
Aku raiso dadi pengarep bapa biyung
Aku kudu piye?
Aku kudu piye?
Aku kudu piye?
Aku ora ngerti
Aku mung mlayu
Menghindar
Mlayu sakadohe
Nanging nora tekan
Mlayu seko urip
Mumet kula, duh Gusti
Aku ngerti
Kanca kanca
Pada sukses ing manca
Aku dadi mikir
Aku wes ngopo?
Ibarat urip
Napasku mung siji siji
Abot
Abot
Bapa biyung adik
Ngarepake aku
Nopo kulo saged?
Dadi apa kang dadi gegayuhane wong tuwo
Opo aku gur dadi kuciwo?
Aku kesel, Gusti
Pengen leren
Pengen lunga adoh
Pengen radue beban
Aku pengen seneng
Aku pengen agawe seneng
Bapak, ibuk,
Sepurane
Kulo dereng saged dados manungsa

Help me
Through sadness and anxiety
Help me
Through pain and reality
Hold me
Till I fall asleep
Save me from sorrow that drowns me
And stand with me
Tell me everything will be ok
Cry
Cry for me
Cry for my happiness
Smile
Smile for me so I know I’m not the only one faking it
Kill me
Kill the darkness of my heart
And live for me
Live for my cold love
That died long time ago
For the one
That never notice
Help me
Help me understand myself more.

Ngayogyakarta Hadiningrat
30102017 11.11pm