2018!

Hello fellas !

It’s been a while since I wrote here in this awesome place, it’s been a little rough , and I miss writing, I miss the feeling when ideas just flowing from my head and I just wrote it down so it become something that can be read. I’m not a writer myself (yet, I always want to be a writer) , so forgive me for everything I wrote, and the grammar 😦 I’m not an english native speaker , but I’ll learn to be at least as good as I expected 😀 , even expectations rarely become true hahaha

By the way, Happy New Year! 

Successfully wasted 2017 huh? Did y’all enjoy your 2017? Because time that you enjoy to waste is not wasted at all.

Most peple make resolutions at new year, making a new bucket list, the “new year, new me” thing, planning everything as if they gonna live forever, *eyerolls* well, I’m not saying that it’s bad, it’s actually a good thing to do, but why don’t you just live your life? Enjoy every little things that happened in life and grateful, don’t push yourself too hard on target that includes people’s expectations and opinions. Living without them (people’s expectations) is awesome, you can act and do whatever you want and not giving a s#!t about people’s opinions. Their opinions doesn’t matter.

Life is a matter of perspective, it’s about how we look at things that happened in our life. Life isn’t always easy, there’s rough time like you just wanna curled up in bed with your comfy sweaters and crying all day, no? Is it just me? LOL Let’s back to the track, when something bad happens try to think like “what it this event trying to tell me?” instead of “how could this happen to me?” Maybe when your pinky toe hit the desk it’s trying to tell you that your sight is getting worse, or when someone’s gone or disappear from your life it made you realize that nothing lasts forever.

LOL what am I talking about ^^
See ya!

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dulu

dulu

ketika pena belum terganti keypad, keyboard, dan touchpad

aku terbiasa menulis hari

dalam binder usang yang kumal

dulu

curahan hati adalah rahasia

antara bisunya kertas dan coretan tinta dalam diam

senam jantung ketika lupa letak

dan menikmati indahnya rahasia

sayang sekali mereka tak abadi

aku juga lupa

entah dimana dan siapa yang membaca

aku tak ingin mengetahuinya

biar berlalu seperti waktu

toh aku baik baik saja

Minor VS Major Society

Hello again WordPress

Assalamualaikum

I just thinking about how it feels like to be a minority in the society we live in. In my whole life, I’ve never been become a minority, I was born in a Muslim and Javanese society. And I’ve never been get out from that circle till now, twenty years living in this world and always become a part of major society, I know, boring, right?

Becoming majority bring us benefits that major society always have, I mean we have same needs, same purposes, ( I’m not racist, Indonesia is the biggest cultural nation in the world , which have so much different faiths but always beautiful with its diversity) . But being a part of major society makes you less noticeable, something that makes me sad, and people always judge people based on their part of society, a.k.a generalization.

I always want to know how it feels, every time I see on the news, Muslims in western country being bullied because of their minority, I feel bad that I can’t help them and I also feel jealous that my faith have never been tested like them. I want to know how it’s like to be different from the society. Because here, in my own society, I just can’t fit properly. I am not good at social interaction at the first time, I am afraid that people seeing me by general stereotypes they knew. Maybe the stereotypes when become a minority is so much more extreme than majority, but that’s the challenge! Maybe by people looked at me differently, they can see the truly am 😀

Maybe I can change into the better person, that can see both side of majority and minority. Maybe I should get out of this island or even country to understands. But the problem is, I have no money or chance to go 😦

I hope that there’s a time in the future so I can experience how it’s like to be a minority. Amen.

Since I don’t have it, could you please share yours? So I can imagine it 😀

Thanks for reading, Wassalamualaikum..

Yogyakarta , June 2017

Hola!

Hello WordPress…

It’s been a while since the last time I wrote here, time running fast and boom! It’s already June. Halfway to 2018!! So far, what have you done? What do you achieve this first six month of 2017?

Thinking about achievement, it hurts me a little, it’s so sad that I haven’t got anything matters this year. Yeah, just a regular year, another year of my life.

This year is my 20th birthday. An important number, which shows that you’re an adult now. But I see no difference , it’s just the same. Broke and single, and no new friends, and my writings still bad.

Some people might never change, I guess I’m that kind of people. Still skinny, still clumsy, still ugly, still addicted to bad puns and Harry Potter. Yup, I’m twenty and still reads Harry Potter, over and over again. And still can’t get over from my first crush *damn* , with zero circumstances to talk with him. Well, my life might be miserable, but I never get bored of it.

Today is Ramadhan day 12, and I can’t fullfill this Ramadhan coz the first 3 day of Ramadhan I get my period *sighhhhh*

Something new in this 2017 is my job, but I’m not proud of it. Desk job is not fun. Well at least I got a job. Even with unbelievably low salary and full hours 😔. But it’s okay, no, no, its not okay.

Anddd I never practice my English so it get worse, usually I practices English with my social media friends, one from Peru, and the other one is from India. Yup , no friends from native speakers.
But that one from Peru, we barely in touch, cuz time differences. While in Indonesia is 7 am on Wednesday, in peru is 7 pm on Tuesday. See? No chances. The one from India has always been so busy with his study and barely online. So I just reads some English articles and memes, trying to adding new vocabs to my brain. And write this, I hope that there is Grammar Nazi that reads this and they can kindly tell me the problem, so I can fix this writings.

Well, the another bad news in 2017 is so much bombs exploded, Afghanistan, Jakarta, Manchester, Syiria, feels bad man.. While here in Indonesia specially java, we made “mercon” or “petasan” or “meriam bambu” that creates explosion for fun during ramadhan, they’re toys like fireworks but a little bit dangerous, it’s like a bomb but without studs or pins that hurts people, but still, the blast can cause disease, for ears and hand if you hold it while lit it .

Well that’s all in my mind tonight, see ya next time,

Wassalamualaikum

For Greater Good – Back story part 1

Namanya mr. Antonio,  dia tinggal di apartemen yang sama denganku tepatnya di kamar sebelah kamarku, menurutku tingkahnya sedikit aneh,  namun aku pikir itu mungkin karena aku belum terbiasa saja melihat dia,  ah nanti juga kita pasti jadi tetangga yang akrab,  pikirku

Setiap aku pulang, selalu hanpir tengah malam, kudengar deritan kursi tua dan musik klasik yang mengalun, dan bau amis menyengat menguar dari kamarnya..

Agak lumayan mengganggu juga semua ini,  tapi aku berfikir mungkin mr. Antonio adalah penggemar barang2 antik,  dan bau amis ini mungkin berasal dari tikus mati saja,  positif thinking sajalah.. , siapa tahu nanti kita bisa saling berbagi info soal barang antik,  karna aku pun memiliki hobi mengoleksi barang antik,  meski belum begitu banyak

Aku suka senjata klasik, aku mengoleksinya dari perjalnan keling duniaku tahun lalu, dari panah Indian sampai keris pusaka yang kudapat di pulau tropis yang indah,

Ah, Bali memang mengagumkan

Pernah kulihat mr Antonio memakai ikat kepala putih dengan bunga cantik kuning ditelinganya, mungkinkah ia juga dari Bali? Aku harus mengajaknya minum lain kali,

Mungkin bercerta tentang Bali, atau barang antik yang dimilikinya,
Keesokan harinya,  aku berjumpa dengan mr. Antonio,  namun seperti biasa,  raut wajah yang tak bersahabat  membuat ku enggan untuk menyapanya,
Kalau begini terus,  bagaimana kita bisa jadi tetangga yang akrab,  tanyaku dalam hati sembari tak hentinya mata ini memandanginya hingga ia masuk ke kamarnya

Aku penasaran..

Tapi buat apa aku peduli??
Dasar orang tua!
Bau menyengat itu semakin tajam di hari ketujuh ku di apartment baruku..
Dasar!! Aku harus menemuinya besok

Ahh..  Tapi bau ini begitu busuk,  akan kutegur ia sekarang juga…
Tok tok tok..
Ku ketuk pintu kamarnya secara perlahan,  walaupun dia anen namun aku harus tetap belaku sopan padanya,  lebih2 dia lebih tua dariku,
Setelah ku tunggu agak lama,  akhirnya aku mendengar suara langkah kaki menuju pintu,  ah itu dia orang nya, dasar orang tua buka pintu saja lama,  pikirku..
Kemudian pintu terbuka,  walaupun hanya dibuka sedikit,  hanya cukup untuk memperlihatkan kepala dan tangan kanannya saja..
Masih terpampang raut wajah suram yang senantiasa aku lihat setiap perjumpaan kita..
Aku coba bicara dengannya..

Dia tak mengizinkanku masuk,

“Apa maumu ?” Tanyanya ketus. Aku geram.

Tapi ku coba untuk tetap terlihat sopan,  aku bertanya padanya “maaf pak,  saya sering mencium bau tidak sedap, sepertinya bau igu berasal dari sekitar kamar bapak,  sebenarnya apa yang terjadi? “

Bukan urusanmu bocah!! Urus saja urusanmu sendiri!! Katanya sambil membanting pintu

Dasar kakek tua aneh,  lihat saja besok,  tak kan ku biarkan dia mengelak lagi,  gerutuku
Tidak, tidak akan kulepaskan dia begitu saja. Besok akan kutunjukkan padanya
Kalau ia berani main main denganku

Esok hari aku melihat  mr.antonio keluar dari kediaman nya,  ini saatnya untuk beraksi,    pikirku
Kuambil keris pusaka , kuselipkan ke pinggang, tak lupa revolver kusembunyikan di kaus kaki..

Kuambil jepit rambut kuno milik ibu yang sering kugunakan untuk membuka buffet makanan..
Sepuluh menit kemudian aku sudah ada didalam apartment mr antonio..

Kubiarkan pandanganku menyapu seluruh penjuru kamar mr.antonio, ki lihat seluruh isinya,  tidak ada yang janggal..
Hanya nampak biasa,  selayaknya kamar orang tua agkatan tahun 50 an yang gemar mau ngoleksi barang2 antik yang unik,  hanya satu yang membuat perasaanKu terusik,  bau amis yang selalu menyamButku setiap aku pulang kerja,  sebenarnya bau apa ini,  aku rasa ini bukan sekedar bangkai tikus.. Aku harus menemukan sumber bau ini,  tapi apa??

Aku mengikuti bau amis yang menguar.. Semakin dekat.. Semakin dekat..

Dan tiba tiba gelap

Aku terbangun dan melihat  sekeliling..
Tidak ada seorangpun disana

Kugerakkan kakiku, revolverku sudah hilang, tubuhku terikat, keris pusaka menggores pinggangku, rupanya tak ada yabg mengambilnya..
Kudengar langkah kaki menuju kearah ku,  itu pasti si pak tua aneh,  pasti dia yang mengurungku disini,  dasar pak tua sialan,  berani beraninya dia macam2 padaku, suara itu semakin dekat,  gagang pintu berputar pertanda seseorang membuka pintu, tapi alangkah terkejutnya aku karena yang datang bukan lah orang tua aneh yang kukenal selama ini melainkan..

Wanita cantik, mungkin berumur 20 an, memakai kemben seperti wanita yang kutemui di pura di bali dulu, ia tersenyum..
Mau apa gadis secantik dia ada di tempat lusuh seperti ini,  apa mungkin dia cucu mr antonio?  Nuraniku terus bertanya
Kuberanikan diriku untuk bertanya meski terasa kelu lidah ini,, “siapa kau? ” tanyaku..
Dia tidak menjawab, ia hanya tersenyum, ia mendekatiku, mengambil keris yang ada di pinggangku, dan kemudian rasa hangat menyebar didadaku, darah segar menyembur dari sana, aku mencoba berteriak, lalu gelap menyetimutiku sekali lagi..

To be continued..